Biggest Guilty

It's a morning in Tangerang. I had waken up earlier, but my both eyes couldn't be compromised to stay awake for at least come to my dinner table to take breakfast. Yeah, I have late shalat subuh, God, please forgive me.

Actually, I've heard my mom yelling for thousand times, but my ignorant sanity always does the same as how it's going. My mom keep yelling till I finally jump out from tempat sholat. I directly take my drink of tea, My mom warn me to have at leat two glass of mineral water. So, I delay my pleasure to taste how sweet it is by drinking a lot of water before.

But suddenly, I remembered that my college mate, called Candra wanted to have script of C++. He said he need someone who could teach the basic of C++, especially about function method and etc. But last night, he said that he just need the script of program for current homework from Mr Bahrul (my lecturer). Well, I still wonder why doesn't he ask this in fisrt place?

So I open my laptop, but it hasn't been my screen fully opened. My mom had higher yelling than before, then she said, " don't open laptop fisrt, you can do that for all day long!". Seriously I was offended, and reflex, I said  "Can you understand how important it is, to operate laptop and learn something new?!"

We have big arguing on that moment. She But now I realize, It was my mistake and I'm so regret considering what I was doing. I said that rude, It doesn't because I prior what Candra ask to me.(because, he has been used to do that to every his friends in college) but I want people to know that it is my process to reach a biggest dream of my life. I want to be full stacck developer

I've known the risk, I've known the struggle, and I think this is my best place to have experience for my lifetime. Which, I won't stop learning and keep updating the development of technology. I think it's gonna be endless journey in tech professional.

I just put the first stone of pave. I still have many target that I have to reach, I still have to innovate what we gonn face, what next project and what people need from technology industry. This is my biggest dream, and I finally found it after 5 year I recognize what the prpgramming and stuff is

So, I'm so senstive when people talk bad to me, and insulting everything from it that what I was doing is wrong. Can you imagine?

I don't ask you to hate my parents treat to me. It's so natural. Sometimes, our parent need more understanding about many thing, especially technology.  Our parents were used to learn by writting on the book. But, nowadays are different, we use laptop technology to learn and teach, beyond of entertainment and meet-up with the oldfriends.

End of this point, I wish you know why I called this biggest guilty. Basically, it's combination beetwen my biggest dream and guilty that wrap over it. I

The first thing I wan to have from my parents is ridlo. Cause ridlo can bring you to anywhere. But, just beacuse I hate my parents to warn me drink a lot (because, I have kidney medical problem) , whatever I do would never be real, because all God's ridlo is upon our parent as long our parent do the same, and so is Allah anger.

For all of you who have same issue to me. When you have biggest dream, but you parents cannot understand any of it. be patient, tell them gently that. "This is really important, this is my dream, and I wsih you can understand, I'm still being in progress, but I promise, when I've been finally success with all of these, you will be proud, and never be upset for the second, the third, and so on.

It is about how you communicate your dreams to your parents. They need more understanding, cause basically they still know nothing